In one of my classes, we are exploring the Book God is not a Christian by Desmond Tutu. Each Thursday we read a chapter and then discuss our reactions, feelings and thoughts about his writings. We are asked to keep a journal of those reactions, feelings and thoughts – this is my journal. Journey with me as I learn about who Desmond Tutu is and how he responds to God and issues of faith.
I couple of weeks ago, I wrote about Building Community. As I was reading about the concept of ubuntu this week, I kept going back to these thoughts about community. Ubuntu is an African term that is difficult to translate into English. It is “the essence of being human” in that we are humans through our relationships with other humans. I am because we are and we are because I am.
In this culture in America, we have moved to a very individualistic view. Working hard and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps is respected. Being “successful” is often defined by status, money, possessions and education level. Failure is weakness. As Tutu says, “individualism has often meant that people are lonely in a crowd, shattered by their anonymity.” I’ve had that experience. I’ve been in a room full of people – a place of worship – and felt totally alone. It’s as if everyone were so focused on themselves, that no one could see me. I was there, but alone. Strange thing is, that’s when I was up front and everyone was looking at me.
For me, living in community, ubuntu, means dropping the idea that I can do and am smart/tough/good enough to do it on my own. It means checking my pride at the door and realizing that we are all better – me included – when community is valued over self and strived toward. It means that I must sacrifice so that we can all be better. Synergy.
Ubuntu also made me think of my family. Racer works hard. He sacrifices family time so that I can not work (or work part-time), go to school and be the mom our kids need. The kids sacrifice all the “latest and greatest” gadgets, huge trips to expensive places and individual time with parents so that I can be at home taking care of their needs in the best way I know how. That’s a little humbling to me because here I have been thinking about EVERYTHING that I felt like I’ve been sacrificing so that my husband and children could have me home with them. I’ve been known to throw myself pity parties because I give up SO MUCH so that everybody can have their needs attended to and what about poor me??!!
Ubuntu means that I am who I am because of my family and they are who they are because of me. We are who we are – as individuals and as a family – because of each other. I’ve been sacrificing for them to be great. They’ve been sacrificing for me to be great too. Once again, my pride got into my head and I got to thinking somehow that I was the most important part of this family. Sure, if something happened to me, the family would drastically change. If something happened to any of us, our family would drastically change. We are inter-connected, depending on one another to maintain the community of our family.
“Ubuntu teaches us that our worth is intrinsic to who we are. We matter because we are made in the image of God.” In this statement, Tutu reminds me that as much as I value family and try to pass that value onto my children, we each have a worth that is more than just our family. As a mom of a blended family (fully biological, half biological and adopted), family has a wider meaning. For Blue, which is family – biological or adoptive? For Professor, the terms “step” and “real” are sometimes used. Which is true family? As we wrestle with those idea, I have to remember that their worth – anyone’s worth – doesn’t come from the family claimed as the “real” family. Both families are real and true and worthy. True worth, however, comes simply by being lovingly designed by Creator God.
Lovingly designed to live in community with each other. Ubuntu means that I must allow Blue to be in connection with her family of origin and share who she is with them. Blue is who she is because they are who they are and continue to be. Ubuntu means that I must overlap my family circle with Professor’s “other family” circle because he is who he is because they are who they are. In the end, because Blue and Professor are who they are because of their families, and I am who I am because of them, I must be who I am in part because of who those families are. We are interconnected.
Community… Ubuntu…
I am who I am because you, dear reader, are who you are.
We are because we are together.
Thank you for being a part of me.
Recent Comments