T-I-RED March 22, 2012

Do you ever hit a time when you are just tired. T. I. R. E. D. We’ve had two rounds of the sickies, allergies are terrible, spring fever is setting in, the day-to-day chores are getting old and I’m just tired. I want a vacation. I want to go and let others take care of all the dirty work of family life, while I just sleep, read, play and shop. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Except that is just a dream most days. The reality of being a young, large family on a budget is that vacations like that are a dream for now. Our “vacations” involve long trips in the car and visits to family. The work involved in packing, travelling and cleaning up after is a lot when it’s mostly me packing for everyone too. Most of the time, I need a vacation from my vacation! We do enjoy those visits though – as harried and hurried as they may seem – and I often do try to take some time to rest during those trips.

When I’m feeling like this I do try to get some extra rest (and my friend would tell me to drink more water and take some vitamin B or something). I also try to play more. Take a day and do something fun – even if it is just an afternoon at the park with a picnic. I try to break out of the usual routine. And I try to dream a little. Sometimes dreaming gets me feeling less than content, ut when I’m feeling tired of life’s routine moments, I try to dream a little dream of an extravagance. One day I was feeling discouraged about some finances, so I sat and actually mapped out how I would spend $1,000,000. That was really fun! I doubt I’ll ever win that kind of money, but if I ever do, I now have a plan!!

So today, I’m done with school for the week. I will get some extra rest tonight and this weekend, we’ll do something out of the ordinary. We’re going to have some fun and I’m going to let house chores go. We’re going to play hard and rest well. And maybe even eat out!! (That’s a real treat for us.)

What is it that you do when you are feeling tired and worn out? How do you renew your energy and spirit?

How DO I do it? February 18, 2012

As a mom of many, I often get this comment “I don’t know how you do it!” or asked this question “How do you do it?” I always struggle with a response. Most of the time I want to say “I just do.” Sometimes I do say that. Sometimes I give some other short answer about organization, letting stuff go, etc. Sometimes I get a little snarky and reply with something like “ignore my kids, yell at my husband and live in filth.” Now, while all of the above responses are true to some extent, it’s not really the whole picture.

So how DO I do it? I have five children, 2 dogs, a variety of fish/bugs/critters depending on the time of year and a hubby that travels 4 days out of the week for work. I take 3 graduate level classes, teach a Sunday School class at church, volunteer in a management position for a local mom’s group and occasionally babysit. And I don’t have any family around to help – they all live far away.

So how DO I do it? There are a variety of answers I could give. And some days I do it all much better than others. There are few tips of the trade, learned in the trenches, that I think are useful for most any family.

1. I don’t do it alone. Even though I don’t have family around, I still don’t do it all alone. I rely on teachers, neighbors, church family and a REALLY GREAT babysitter. I give each person in my child’s life the freedom and the authority to do their “job” with my child. If s/he’s acted up in class/church/scouts/lessons/playtime, I expect the adult in charge to discipline as they see fit. I trust people. (I know there are people who have difficulty with that, but I’m a go with your gut kind of gal. If my tummy flips when I meet someone, I keep my kids an arm’s length away. And I choose activities carefully. And I ask my kids questions to learn more about what goes on when I’m not there.)
2. I let things slide. I’m not a meticulous housekeeper. There is dog hair and crumbs on the floor, there are almost always dishes in the sink. Clothes sit clean and unfolded in baskets for a couple of days. Toys scatter the house. Our home is lived in. It’s not a showplace, its home. We do life here. We bring dirt in (along with various nature collections) and we make messes. It’s really okay. Most everything will clean up. I don’t do every chapter of reading for school either. I do need sleep and I can’t get everything done all the time. Sometimes doing something half-way is better than not doing anything at all.
3. I focus on relationships. Yes, I can be a task-master. My kids do have chores that they are expected to do, but in the end, we really try to be more about the relationship than the task. But always, always, I remember, I am their parent and not their friend. My goal is bigger than getting my feelings hurt over being called “mean.” My friendships are more important than TV shows or books. Loving and helping others is more important than organizing my pantry.
4. I guard our schedule. My kids do one activity at a time. We don’t run about every night of the week. I fiercely protect family dinner time. I try to maintain bedtimes. Even though I try to be flexible (I’m still working on that part), I find it incredibly important for my wellbeing – and the predictability of life for my children – to stick to a fairly consistent routine. We rise early and go to bed early.
5. I live with grace. I mess up – a lot! My spouse messes up. My kids mess up. We are all human. In the end, for us, it’s about living with the grace given to us by God through Jesus Christ. We are a family of faith and living in the grace and love of that faith is the biggest key to keeping us grounded and sane. When we mess up, we know that we can be forgiven – by God and our imperfect family members as well. There are many times a month when I ask my family for forgiveness. The kisses and hugs I get tell me that maybe, just maybe, something is working well.

So how DO I do it? I’m continually trying to fully embrace the woman, wife and mother that I was designed to be. I know my gifts and talents and use them. Am I organized? I’ve been told that many times. Am I efficient? I try to be. Those are gifts that I have been designed with, so I use them to the maximum capacity I can.

How can YOU do it? That’s hard for me to answer. I don’t know what your gifts are. That’s a first step. Sure the things I talked about above will work for most people. If you are creative, be a creative parent. If you are adventurous, be an adventurous parent. Know who YOU are and go with it. Guard your relationships and your time. Live within your financial means, but be generous with your love. And most of all, live in grace.

10 Thing That Make a good citezen December 3, 2011

That was the title of Professor’s project for Cub Scouts one night. He is a WeBeLo. He made quite and interesting list, so I thought I’d share… unedited.

1. Volanteering
2. helping ouT NeiBors and Friends
3. rasing mony for charity
4. Respecting OThers
5. Be trustworty
6. Be responsiBle
7. RespecT mother nature – Do’nT Litter or Else
8. Do noT Bully
9. Use kind words Do noT cuss
10. Be Loyal to your Family

Weight Loss Wednesday – Stalled October 26, 2011

I feel stalled in this journey. Other things in my life have moved up in priority, time is at a premium and I’m just plain tired. And I’ve slacked off. I admit it. I’ve been working hard at the gym 2-3 times a week, but when it comes to food… Let’s just say I’m still a wuss.

I enjoy food and I don’t like watching what I eat. I know that’s where I need to cut back, but I just don’t. I don’t like being hungry. And I don’t like stopping at just one piece of chocolate. I like it too much. It reminds me of why I stopped drinking any kind of alcoholic beverage – I liked it too much to stop at just one.

At this point, I know that I need to start getting really serious about counting calories. “Eating healthier” just isn’t going to cut it anymore. To make serious progress again, I need to pay close attention to how much I’m eating. I’m weaning the baby too, so need for calories is going to drop quite a bit. Ugh. We’re coming into a hard time of year for weight loss too. The holidays and family visits and not being at home to control what’s being cooked and not doing the grocery shopping to control what food is available… This is going to be hard.

So what to do? I’m not ready to go the food journal route. I’m not buying into the Weight Watchers program (meaning I’m not willing to pay for it). I guess it comes down to plain old measuring out portion sizes and keeping track of calories. I have some sample menus that I’ve started using for meal planning. I hope that will help me onto the right track.

What do you do? How do you keep weight in check during the winter party/visiting/eating season?

Here is my goal progress:

1. Incorporate a fresh fruit or vegetable for each meal – Nope. I’ve slacked here big time.
2. Use more seasonings to make meals more interesting – I used turmeric again. Does that count?
3. Eat breakfast every day, cereal no more than 3 times a week – I actually missed breakfast one day this last week.
4. Utilize the YMCA at least 3 times a week – Going at least two times, but striving for 3.
5. Try at least one new recipe each week – I’ve been sticking with simple things we know. 
6. Drink at least 2 big blue glasses of water a day. – I’ve been slacking here too.

Here are the numbers:

• Starting weight:  204.4
• Initial goal weight:  150
• Current weight:  183.6 (gain 0.6)
• Total weight loss: 20.8

Weight Loss Wednesday – “The gym’s workin’ for ya” September 28, 2011

“The gym’s workin’ for ya.” That what our church’s secretary told me today. It was nice to hear that someone else is noticing my body changing. It was just Monday that I was at the gym complaining that I’ve hit a wall. I know I’m getting stronger – I can feel it. I can do more reps of the exercises and I don’t get as easily winded. I can go longer on the elliptical without feeling like I’m going to die.

But the weight isn’t dropping anymore. Part of it is because I’m still having a hard time getting 3-4 days in at the gym. I can get two in easily, but the third is harder. And this week, I’m only able to go once (but I will be walking with a friend one time this week too). So, that means I need to cut calories. Losing weight really is fewer calories in than go out.

Easier said than done right?

Regardless, it is nice to know that other people are noticing my efforts. And, I wore a size medium shirt today.

Here is my goal progress:

1. Incorporate a fresh fruit or vegetable for each meal – I’ve done about 75%. The end of the month when the grocery budget runs down is harder.
2. Use more seasonings to make meals more interesting – I’ve been doing really basic, easy cooking since I’ve been back in school. That means, no real effort to use new spices.
3. Eat breakfast every day, cereal no more than 3 times a week – Did fairly well here.
4. Utilize the YMCA at least 3 times a week – I made it three times the last two weeks.
5. Try at least one new recipe each week – Simple cooking for a busy family means using the tried and true recipies!
6. Drink at least 2 big blue glasses of water a day. – I did better here, but still not 100%.

Here are the numbers:

• Starting weight:  204.4
• Initial goal weight:  150
• Current weight:  182.4 (lost 0.2)
• Total weight loss: 22

Remembering 9/11 September 11, 2011

Ten years ago, I was up in the morning, getting ready for work. I turned on the Today Show as I normally did. I was 4 months pregnant with Professor. The I watched in disbelief and confusion. I went into work, into my safe little office in the midwest. I watched some more.

A couple of things are significant here in that I worked in a Red Cross area headquarters building. I didn’t work for the Red Cross; the program I worked for simply rented space from them. It was interesting seeing first hand what is done to begin preparing for a massive event that has happened. We were nowhere near any of the points of impact, but preparations began – equipping disaster trucks, mobilizing specially trained volunteers, manning phones, helping the community make sense of what they could do. In the next few weeks, I learned what the Red Cross can do and do quickly.

Second interesting point is that the small midwest area I lived in happened to be the world headquarters of a major construction manufacturing company. Because of the nature of their work, this company was put on a higher level of alert. It also meant that new purchases came in and contracts would be had. Clean up would need to happen for a long time.

Outside of those two major points, that’s the most of what I remember. I worked for a group that dealt with violence exposure and young children, so we did quite a bit of para-professional counseling and talking with parents/educators about how to talk about the terrorist attack with their young children. We did what we could to give parents and educators tools to help children process what they were seeing and hearing on tv and in the adult discussions around them.

September 11, 2001 changed my outlook on the world.

I admit though, with a baby on the way and life as a new mom to adjust to… I wasn’t that personally affected. Sure, hearing the stories brought sadness, but I didn’t directly know anyone that died, was injured or was even in one of those locations on that day. My life just went on as normal.

On year later, September 11, 2002, as the news replayed the events of that morning just a year prior, my live changed even more dramatically than it had one year prior. I was getting ready for work – as normal – and my husband at the time was in the office. He was sitting at the desk and I remember thinking that he was in quite a funk. I asked what was wrong and didn’t get an answer that satisfied me, so I asked again. I got a response like “We’ll talk about it later.” Being the pushy kind of gal I am, I persisted.

I got this response “I don’t love you romantically anymore.”

I wasn’t expecting that.

I remember asking “So what do you want to do about that.” Him – “I don’t know.”  Me – “Well, think about it and get back to me.”

Then I went into the bathroom and cried. I finished getting ready and went into work. I remember what I was wearing. I didn’t stay long. As the media replayed planes crashing, towers falling and nation in turmoil, my marriage crumbled around me.

September 11, 2002 changed my life.

Everytime 9/11 rolls around everyone always talks about that day in 2001 when our nation changed. I remember that day in 2002 when my life changed. But just as our nation rallied and became stronger, so did I. Just as New York rebuilt, so did I. New York’s skyline will never be the same and neither will mine. We both have scars.

Somehow with time, healing and determination to become something greater than what was destroyed, something beautiful takes the place of what was. Forgiveness creates a path to grace. Hope is found. Faith is renewed.

As I sit tonight with Racer and watch footage from that day, I remember the other day. I can still replay that other morning in my head. I can still feel the emotions of it. And then I look around me – at the family I have now, at the husband I have now and I know I have been blessed beyond what imagined.

I know grace. I know beauty. I know love.

Precious Father, while we all sit here and remember, give us reminders of our emotions. Give us a grateful heart and a spirit that honors the sacrifices of those who died so innocently on that day. And while we remember, some of us have other memories too – memories of babies being born, memories of engagements, memories of car accidents, memories of marriages… memories of so many things not connected to terrorists. God, help us honor those memories without guilt for not feeling patriotic enough. For not feeling the right way on these anniversaries of major events in history. Healing God, continue to bring forgiveness, healing, reconciliation and hope in the lives of those families directly affected by the events on September 11, 2001. And God, bring forgiveness, healing, reconciliation and hope to those people whose marriages are falling apart or have ended in divorce. Only you know the beauty and grace that can rise from the ashes of life. But like the phoenix, Your Son Jesus Christ rose from the dead, giving hope to the hopeless. As we forgive those who trespassed against us, help us embrace the new life You have available for us. Help us see and know that Your ways are good. And thank you. Thank you for always being in the midst of our lives, even when we can’t see. Even when the despair and destruction seems insurmountable, You are there. Thank you for carrying us when we need it. I love you Jesus and ask in gratitude and praise, Amen.

Thursdays with Desmond – Ubuntu September 8, 2011

In one of my classes, we are exploring the Book God is not a Christian by Desmond Tutu. Each Thursday we read a chapter and then discuss our reactions, feelings and thoughts about his writings. We are asked to keep a journal of those reactions, feelings and thoughts – this is my journal. Journey with me as I learn about who Desmond Tutu is and how he responds to God and issues of faith.

I couple of weeks ago, I wrote about Building Community.  As I was reading about the concept of ubuntu this week, I kept going back to these thoughts about community. Ubuntu is an African term that is difficult to translate into English. It is “the essence of being human” in that we are humans through our relationships with other humans. I am because we are and we are because I am.

In this culture in America, we have moved to a very individualistic view. Working hard and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps is respected. Being “successful” is often defined by status, money, possessions and education level. Failure is weakness. As Tutu says, “individualism has often meant that people are lonely in a crowd, shattered by their anonymity.” I’ve had that experience. I’ve been in a room full of people – a place of worship – and felt totally alone. It’s as if everyone were so focused on themselves, that no one could see me. I was there, but alone. Strange thing is, that’s when I was up front and everyone was looking at me.

For me, living in community, ubuntu, means dropping the idea that I can do and am smart/tough/good enough to do it on my own. It means checking my pride at the door and realizing that we are all better – me included – when community is valued over self and strived toward. It means that I must sacrifice so that we can all be better. Synergy.

Ubuntu also made me think of my family. Racer works hard. He sacrifices family time so that I can not work (or work part-time), go to school and be the mom our kids need. The kids sacrifice all the “latest and greatest” gadgets, huge trips to expensive places and individual time with parents so that I can be at home taking care of their needs in the best way I know how. That’s a little humbling to me because here I have been thinking about EVERYTHING that I felt like I’ve been sacrificing so that my husband and children could have me home with them. I’ve been known to throw myself pity parties because I give up SO MUCH so that everybody can have their needs attended to and what about poor me??!!

Ubuntu means that I am who I am because of my family and they are who they are because of me. We are who we are – as individuals and as a family – because of each other. I’ve been sacrificing for them to be great. They’ve been sacrificing for me to be great too. Once again, my pride got into my head and I got to thinking somehow that I was the most important part of this family. Sure, if something happened to me, the family would drastically change. If something happened to any of us, our family would drastically change. We are inter-connected, depending on one another to maintain the community of our family.

“Ubuntu teaches us that our worth is intrinsic to who we are. We matter because we are made in the image of God.” In this statement, Tutu reminds me that as much as I value family and try to pass that value onto my children, we each have a worth that is more than just our family. As a mom of a blended family (fully biological, half biological and adopted), family has a wider meaning. For Blue, which is family – biological or adoptive? For Professor, the terms “step” and “real” are sometimes used. Which is true family? As we wrestle with those idea, I have to remember that their worth – anyone’s worth – doesn’t come from the family claimed as the “real” family. Both families are real and true and worthy. True worth, however, comes simply by being lovingly designed by Creator God.

Lovingly designed to live in community with each other. Ubuntu means that I must allow Blue to be in connection with her family of origin and share who she is with them. Blue is who she is because they are who they are and continue to be. Ubuntu means that I must overlap my family circle with Professor’s “other family” circle because he is who he is because they are who they are. In the end, because Blue and Professor are who they are because of their families, and I am who I am because of them, I must be who I am in part because of who those families are. We are interconnected.

Community… Ubuntu…

I am who I am because you, dear reader, are who you are.

We are because we are together.

Thank you for being a part of me.

Weight Loss Wednesday – I didn’t make it… September 7, 2011

Well, it is the first Wednesday after Labor Day. If you remember from my first Weight Loss Wednesday post, I wanted to reach my goal weight by Labor Day. That didn’t happen. While I’m a little sad, I’m also at peace with that. I’ve gone from a size 16 to somewhere in between a 10 and 12. I’ve gone from XL shirts to medium in some cases. I’m stronger. I’m eating better (many days – I still like too much junk). I feel less sloth-like.

Even though I’m not at a magic number, I’m in a much better place than I was.

Last night at the gym, I tried a new work-out class. At the end, we did these lower abdominal exercises. I laid on my back, placed my hands under my hips, raised my straight legs into the air at a 90 degree angle and then lowered my feet to the floor and back up. Repeat a million times… As I was doing that – and it wasn’t easy – I was thinking about when I first started at the gym. I met with a trainer to get a feel for the equipment and learn a basic routine. A similar exercise was a part of that routine. I couldn’t even do 5 of those lower ab, leg lower, torturous things. Here I was, doing a million.

Okay, not really a million, it just felt that way. But really, I think it was more like 24. It was hard at the end, but I still did them. I didn’t give up and I could actually complete the set. Three months ago I couldn’t have done that.

I’m making progress. And I have to remember, it took me 10 years and 4 pregnancies to get to where I am. Eight months isn’t going to fully undue it all. I still have some emotional and mental aspects of it all to work out. And I still need to work out the work out schedule. Life happens. While I don’t want to use that as an excuse, I also need to be realistic and flexible. What is important is that I now see it all as important. I’ve made the decision to be healthier and I’m sticking with it.

That alone is an accomplishment.

Here is my goal progress:

1. Incorporate a fresh fruit or vegetable for each meal – I’ve done about 75%.
2. Use more seasonings to make meals more interesting – I used turmeric again this week.
3. Eat breakfast every day, cereal no more than 3 times a week – Did fairly well here.
4. Utilize the YMCA at least 3 times a week – I made it three times.
5. Try at least one new recipe each week – Yep, but simply variations on what I do usually!
6. Drink at least 2 big blue glasses of water a day. – I did better here, but still not 100%.

Here are the numbers:

• Starting weight:  204.4
• Initial goal weight:  150
• Current weight:  182.6 (nothing)
• Total weight loss: 21.8 (not even 1/2 of what my goal was, but I’m actually still pleased)

I’m trying to decide what my new date should be for my initial goal weight. Valentine’s Day? Easter? Not sure here, what do y’all think?

Love to Read September 3, 2011

I’ve always loved to read. I remember as a kid having the flashlight under the covers so that I could read. Even now, if it’s a good book, I want to read it to completion and neglect all the other stuff I have to do so that I can just slip away into an imaginary world of other people, other places, other lives…

My eyes are closed right now, just slipping away…

I’m smiling…

But I digress. I’ve been trying to pass the love on to my children. There are books galore in my house. I enjoy holding onto an actual book (no silly electic book for me!). Beautiful illustrations, whimsical typeset – children’s books are really my favorite. That’s partly why I love the library so much. I can’t afford my book habit.

Professor is an avid reader. Like me, he doesn’t want to put a book down. He’s an advanced reader too – always has been. He takes a book just about everywhere he goes. Compulsive reader really. He loves to read so much that one time – the bad parent that I am – I took away his books as a punishment. It was the only thing that worked at the time!

Blue is a totally different type of reader. It’s hard to select books for her as a gift because she enjoys factual information on whatever topic she is intrigued by at the moment. She doesn’t read cover to cover, but more topic to topic, jumping around until she finds the information that strikes a chord with her.

Girlie and Gorilla are learning to enjoy books too. The love going to the library and picking out their books. They each get magazines in the mail (thank you great grandma and grandpa) and books through Dolly Pardon’s Imagination Library. Gorilla, in particular, likes to be read to – and all kinds of different books. He has his favorites, but isn’t all too picky.

Lately, I’ve been making a more concerted effort to spend time reading with my children. I do it here and there, but I’m trying to spend better time each day reading with them. I really want them to be lifelong lovers of books. We have books everywhere (more than we need probably) and we encourage them to look at books on their own, but there is just something special about stories being read aloud. So each night, I try to read 1-2 books with Girlie and Gorilla. Professor and I have been reading a chapter out of The Giver each night. I’d love to have a family reading time. I have great visions of all of us sitting around the fireplace listening to chapters from The Little House on the Prairie, but I just don’t think that will be happening any time soon.

Sigh. A girl can dream can’t she?

Anyway, all that to say that it warms my heart when my kids ask to have books in bed with them. I’m glad they enjoy books as much as I do. That’s one good thing they’ve gotten from me. Hopefully, that love will be one that stays with them for a lifetime.

Thursdays with Desmond September 2, 2011

In one of my classes, we are exploring the Book God is not a Christian by Desmond Tutu. Each Thursday we read a chapter and then discuss our reactions, feelings and thoughts about his writings. We are asked to keep a journal of those reactions, feelings and thoughts – this is my journal. Journey with me as I learn about who Desmond Tutu is and how he responds to God and issues of faith.

I don’t really know anything about Desmond Tutu. I’ve heard the name, but really know nothing about the man. I asked Racer if he knew of him -  the response I got turned into an interesting discussion. If I’m going to understand this man, I should probably be doing my own investigation into his life. The book flap just doesn’t do a life justice.

As I’m reading, there are some comments that I appreciate and agree with. This first chapter is called “God is Clearly not a Christian: Pleas for Interfaith Tolerance.” The book and chapter titles are shocking to many; but they don’t raise that type of reaction in me. It’s a book title, meant to be shocking, eye-catching and engaging. That kind of statement is certainly engaging. But I agree. God isn’t a Christian. I asked Professor what he felt about the title of the book and he reacted negatively. “Mom, how can somebody say that? God is too a Christian… isn’t he?” So, we talked about what it means to be a Christian and how a person becomes a Christian. The first step is admitting that you are a sinner. Professor had a light bulb moment – God has never sinned right? So he can’t be a Christian! We also talked about how God was before Jesus ever came to earth and He is the God of the Old Testament and the people of the Jewish faith. God was before Christianity existed.

As I read the first chapter, there were several phrases that resonated with me. The first was this comment Tutu made in a message from 1989; “We must hold to our particular and peculiar beliefs tenaciously, not pretending that all religions are the same, for they are patently not the same. We must be ready to learn from one another, not claiming that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God.” Yes, I agree. As a Christian I have a lot to learn about faith from other ways of believing. There are many other systems of belief that do a much better job of living out their faith than I do. Do I publicly stop and pray 5 times a day? No. Do I boldly go door to door to share my faith with others? No. Do I spend time daily in quiet meditation so that I can sense the life force and peace within? No. I have a lot that I can learn from the practices and beliefs of others. In that learning, however I mustn’t lose sight of the One True God in whom I believe and the Universal Truth that I believe comes through the Son Jesus Christ.

The second phrase that struck me was from a message given by Tutu to fellow Christians in 1992; “It is no dishonor to God for us to claim that all truth, all sense of beauty, all awareness of and desire after goodness has one source, and that source is God, who is not confined to one place, time and people.” At the surface I agree. God is truth, beauty and goodness, so it makes sense that all of these things would ultimately come from God. I don’t disagree. I even agree with the first part – that when we claim God as the source of all truth, beauty and goodness, we bring Him honor. What I struggle with is who gets to define what is truth, beauty and good? I have an online friend who is agnostic or atheist (I forget at the moment). We recently had a discussion about the phrase “act Christian” and how people of any belief system can do good, be charitable, show love and treat others with respect. She was even once told – after doing good in her community – that she was such a “good Christian.” Do I think that her desire to do what is right and good emanates from a deep connection to God that she may not be ready/willing/wanting to see? Yes and we agree to disagree on this point. But I also know that in many ways, she and I see beauty and goodness in a similar light. But what about others who see beauty in mutilation or true love in sexual relationships with children or goodness in racial cleansing? These types of beliefs are contrary to the general held beliefs of society, but again, if someone just declares something as beauty, truth or good, does that mean it is? And does that mean it comes from God? I have a really hard time believing that it does. I guess it’s the word ALL that I struggle with. I want to qualify that word as ALL that fits with the general definitions of society, but then again, that would be exclusionary and not very tolerant wouldn’t it?

The last phrase that really struck me comes from the same message in 1992, “We who are Christians must proclaim the truths of our faith honestly, truthfully, and without compromise, and we must assert courteously but unequivocally that we believe that all religious truth and all religious aspirations find their final fulfillment in Jesus Christ. But we must grant to others the same right to commend their faith, hoping that the intrinsic attractiveness and ultimate truthfulness of Christianity will be what commends it to others.” Yes. Too often in today’s culture, we as Christians make accommodations for our faith so that it “fits” in society. We try too hard to make what we have to offer attractive to the widest group of people. While I agree that we must allow religious freedom for all, we need to stop doing it at the expense of our own faith. We need to stand up for our right as Christians to also exclaim the Good News. And we have to walk the talk. We need to do a better job of living out the love, grace and mercy part of who we, as a people, are so that the Light within us is illuminating and others respond to the Spirit and not our humanness. As a whole, those identifying themselves as Christians have lots of room for growth when it comes to actually living in a manner as Christ did.

As I continue to read, I hope to gain a broader understanding of what Desmond Tutu has to say about religious tolerance and social justice. I want to have a broader perspective, yet I don’t want to simply bend to what someone else says. I want to better understand what it is that I belive. What it is that scripture says about these issues and how a man well-known (except by me) is influencing the beliefs of many.

Each Thursday, I’ll be journaling here. Feel free to get the book, read with me and share your thoughts. And yes, I realize today is Friday. Life happened and I didn’t get to write yesterday. I’m learning to be okay with that.