That was the title of Professor’s project for Cub Scouts one night. He is a WeBeLo. He made quite and interesting list, so I thought I’d share… unedited.
I feel stalled in this journey. Other things in my life have moved up in priority, time is at a premium and I’m just plain tired. And I’ve slacked off. I admit it. I’ve been working hard at the gym 2-3 times a week, but when it comes to food… Let’s just say I’m still a wuss.
I enjoy food and I don’t like watching what I eat. I know that’s where I need to cut back, but I just don’t. I don’t like being hungry. And I don’t like stopping at just one piece of chocolate. I like it too much. It reminds me of why I stopped drinking any kind of alcoholic beverage – I liked it too much to stop at just one.
At this point, I know that I need to start getting really serious about counting calories. “Eating healthier” just isn’t going to cut it anymore. To make serious progress again, I need to pay close attention to how much I’m eating. I’m weaning the baby too, so need for calories is going to drop quite a bit. Ugh. We’re coming into a hard time of year for weight loss too. The holidays and family visits and not being at home to control what’s being cooked and not doing the grocery shopping to control what food is available… This is going to be hard.
So what to do? I’m not ready to go the food journal route. I’m not buying into the Weight Watchers program (meaning I’m not willing to pay for it). I guess it comes down to plain old measuring out portion sizes and keeping track of calories. I have some sample menus that I’ve started using for meal planning. I hope that will help me onto the right track.
What do you do? How do you keep weight in check during the winter party/visiting/eating season?
Here is my goal progress:
Here are the numbers:
“The gym’s workin’ for ya.” That what our church’s secretary told me today. It was nice to hear that someone else is noticing my body changing. It was just Monday that I was at the gym complaining that I’ve hit a wall. I know I’m getting stronger – I can feel it. I can do more reps of the exercises and I don’t get as easily winded. I can go longer on the elliptical without feeling like I’m going to die.
But the weight isn’t dropping anymore. Part of it is because I’m still having a hard time getting 3-4 days in at the gym. I can get two in easily, but the third is harder. And this week, I’m only able to go once (but I will be walking with a friend one time this week too). So, that means I need to cut calories. Losing weight really is fewer calories in than go out.
Easier said than done right?
Regardless, it is nice to know that other people are noticing my efforts. And, I wore a size medium shirt today.
Here is my goal progress:
Here are the numbers:
Ten years ago, I was up in the morning, getting ready for work. I turned on the Today Show as I normally did. I was 4 months pregnant with Professor. The I watched in disbelief and confusion. I went into work, into my safe little office in the midwest. I watched some more.
A couple of things are significant here in that I worked in a Red Cross area headquarters building. I didn’t work for the Red Cross; the program I worked for simply rented space from them. It was interesting seeing first hand what is done to begin preparing for a massive event that has happened. We were nowhere near any of the points of impact, but preparations began – equipping disaster trucks, mobilizing specially trained volunteers, manning phones, helping the community make sense of what they could do. In the next few weeks, I learned what the Red Cross can do and do quickly.
Second interesting point is that the small midwest area I lived in happened to be the world headquarters of a major construction manufacturing company. Because of the nature of their work, this company was put on a higher level of alert. It also meant that new purchases came in and contracts would be had. Clean up would need to happen for a long time.
Outside of those two major points, that’s the most of what I remember. I worked for a group that dealt with violence exposure and young children, so we did quite a bit of para-professional counseling and talking with parents/educators about how to talk about the terrorist attack with their young children. We did what we could to give parents and educators tools to help children process what they were seeing and hearing on tv and in the adult discussions around them.
September 11, 2001 changed my outlook on the world.
I admit though, with a baby on the way and life as a new mom to adjust to… I wasn’t that personally affected. Sure, hearing the stories brought sadness, but I didn’t directly know anyone that died, was injured or was even in one of those locations on that day. My life just went on as normal.
On year later, September 11, 2002, as the news replayed the events of that morning just a year prior, my live changed even more dramatically than it had one year prior. I was getting ready for work – as normal – and my husband at the time was in the office. He was sitting at the desk and I remember thinking that he was in quite a funk. I asked what was wrong and didn’t get an answer that satisfied me, so I asked again. I got a response like “We’ll talk about it later.” Being the pushy kind of gal I am, I persisted.
I got this response “I don’t love you romantically anymore.”
I wasn’t expecting that.
I remember asking “So what do you want to do about that.” Him – “I don’t know.” Me – “Well, think about it and get back to me.”
Then I went into the bathroom and cried. I finished getting ready and went into work. I remember what I was wearing. I didn’t stay long. As the media replayed planes crashing, towers falling and nation in turmoil, my marriage crumbled around me.
September 11, 2002 changed my life.
Everytime 9/11 rolls around everyone always talks about that day in 2001 when our nation changed. I remember that day in 2002 when my life changed. But just as our nation rallied and became stronger, so did I. Just as New York rebuilt, so did I. New York’s skyline will never be the same and neither will mine. We both have scars.
Somehow with time, healing and determination to become something greater than what was destroyed, something beautiful takes the place of what was. Forgiveness creates a path to grace. Hope is found. Faith is renewed.
As I sit tonight with Racer and watch footage from that day, I remember the other day. I can still replay that other morning in my head. I can still feel the emotions of it. And then I look around me – at the family I have now, at the husband I have now and I know I have been blessed beyond what imagined.
I know grace. I know beauty. I know love.
Precious Father, while we all sit here and remember, give us reminders of our emotions. Give us a grateful heart and a spirit that honors the sacrifices of those who died so innocently on that day. And while we remember, some of us have other memories too – memories of babies being born, memories of engagements, memories of car accidents, memories of marriages… memories of so many things not connected to terrorists. God, help us honor those memories without guilt for not feeling patriotic enough. For not feeling the right way on these anniversaries of major events in history. Healing God, continue to bring forgiveness, healing, reconciliation and hope in the lives of those families directly affected by the events on September 11, 2001. And God, bring forgiveness, healing, reconciliation and hope to those people whose marriages are falling apart or have ended in divorce. Only you know the beauty and grace that can rise from the ashes of life. But like the phoenix, Your Son Jesus Christ rose from the dead, giving hope to the hopeless. As we forgive those who trespassed against us, help us embrace the new life You have available for us. Help us see and know that Your ways are good. And thank you. Thank you for always being in the midst of our lives, even when we can’t see. Even when the despair and destruction seems insurmountable, You are there. Thank you for carrying us when we need it. I love you Jesus and ask in gratitude and praise, Amen.
In one of my classes, we are exploring the Book God is not a Christian by Desmond Tutu. Each Thursday we read a chapter and then discuss our reactions, feelings and thoughts about his writings. We are asked to keep a journal of those reactions, feelings and thoughts – this is my journal. Journey with me as I learn about who Desmond Tutu is and how he responds to God and issues of faith.
I couple of weeks ago, I wrote about Building Community. As I was reading about the concept of ubuntu this week, I kept going back to these thoughts about community. Ubuntu is an African term that is difficult to translate into English. It is “the essence of being human” in that we are humans through our relationships with other humans. I am because we are and we are because I am.
In this culture in America, we have moved to a very individualistic view. Working hard and pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps is respected. Being “successful” is often defined by status, money, possessions and education level. Failure is weakness. As Tutu says, “individualism has often meant that people are lonely in a crowd, shattered by their anonymity.” I’ve had that experience. I’ve been in a room full of people – a place of worship – and felt totally alone. It’s as if everyone were so focused on themselves, that no one could see me. I was there, but alone. Strange thing is, that’s when I was up front and everyone was looking at me.
For me, living in community, ubuntu, means dropping the idea that I can do and am smart/tough/good enough to do it on my own. It means checking my pride at the door and realizing that we are all better – me included – when community is valued over self and strived toward. It means that I must sacrifice so that we can all be better. Synergy.
Ubuntu also made me think of my family. Racer works hard. He sacrifices family time so that I can not work (or work part-time), go to school and be the mom our kids need. The kids sacrifice all the “latest and greatest” gadgets, huge trips to expensive places and individual time with parents so that I can be at home taking care of their needs in the best way I know how. That’s a little humbling to me because here I have been thinking about EVERYTHING that I felt like I’ve been sacrificing so that my husband and children could have me home with them. I’ve been known to throw myself pity parties because I give up SO MUCH so that everybody can have their needs attended to and what about poor me??!!
Ubuntu means that I am who I am because of my family and they are who they are because of me. We are who we are – as individuals and as a family – because of each other. I’ve been sacrificing for them to be great. They’ve been sacrificing for me to be great too. Once again, my pride got into my head and I got to thinking somehow that I was the most important part of this family. Sure, if something happened to me, the family would drastically change. If something happened to any of us, our family would drastically change. We are inter-connected, depending on one another to maintain the community of our family.
“Ubuntu teaches us that our worth is intrinsic to who we are. We matter because we are made in the image of God.” In this statement, Tutu reminds me that as much as I value family and try to pass that value onto my children, we each have a worth that is more than just our family. As a mom of a blended family (fully biological, half biological and adopted), family has a wider meaning. For Blue, which is family – biological or adoptive? For Professor, the terms “step” and “real” are sometimes used. Which is true family? As we wrestle with those idea, I have to remember that their worth – anyone’s worth – doesn’t come from the family claimed as the “real” family. Both families are real and true and worthy. True worth, however, comes simply by being lovingly designed by Creator God.
Lovingly designed to live in community with each other. Ubuntu means that I must allow Blue to be in connection with her family of origin and share who she is with them. Blue is who she is because they are who they are and continue to be. Ubuntu means that I must overlap my family circle with Professor’s “other family” circle because he is who he is because they are who they are. In the end, because Blue and Professor are who they are because of their families, and I am who I am because of them, I must be who I am in part because of who those families are. We are interconnected.
Community… Ubuntu…
I am who I am because you, dear reader, are who you are.
We are because we are together.
Thank you for being a part of me.
Well, it is the first Wednesday after Labor Day. If you remember from my first Weight Loss Wednesday post, I wanted to reach my goal weight by Labor Day. That didn’t happen. While I’m a little sad, I’m also at peace with that. I’ve gone from a size 16 to somewhere in between a 10 and 12. I’ve gone from XL shirts to medium in some cases. I’m stronger. I’m eating better (many days – I still like too much junk). I feel less sloth-like.
Even though I’m not at a magic number, I’m in a much better place than I was.
Last night at the gym, I tried a new work-out class. At the end, we did these lower abdominal exercises. I laid on my back, placed my hands under my hips, raised my straight legs into the air at a 90 degree angle and then lowered my feet to the floor and back up. Repeat a million times… As I was doing that – and it wasn’t easy – I was thinking about when I first started at the gym. I met with a trainer to get a feel for the equipment and learn a basic routine. A similar exercise was a part of that routine. I couldn’t even do 5 of those lower ab, leg lower, torturous things. Here I was, doing a million.
Okay, not really a million, it just felt that way. But really, I think it was more like 24. It was hard at the end, but I still did them. I didn’t give up and I could actually complete the set. Three months ago I couldn’t have done that.
I’m making progress. And I have to remember, it took me 10 years and 4 pregnancies to get to where I am. Eight months isn’t going to fully undue it all. I still have some emotional and mental aspects of it all to work out. And I still need to work out the work out schedule. Life happens. While I don’t want to use that as an excuse, I also need to be realistic and flexible. What is important is that I now see it all as important. I’ve made the decision to be healthier and I’m sticking with it.
That alone is an accomplishment.
Here is my goal progress:
Here are the numbers:
I’m trying to decide what my new date should be for my initial goal weight. Valentine’s Day? Easter? Not sure here, what do y’all think?
I’ve always loved to read. I remember as a kid having the flashlight under the covers so that I could read. Even now, if it’s a good book, I want to read it to completion and neglect all the other stuff I have to do so that I can just slip away into an imaginary world of other people, other places, other lives…
My eyes are closed right now, just slipping away…
I’m smiling…
But I digress. I’ve been trying to pass the love on to my children. There are books galore in my house. I enjoy holding onto an actual book (no silly electic book for me!). Beautiful illustrations, whimsical typeset – children’s books are really my favorite. That’s partly why I love the library so much. I can’t afford my book habit.
Professor is an avid reader. Like me, he doesn’t want to put a book down. He’s an advanced reader too – always has been. He takes a book just about everywhere he goes. Compulsive reader really. He loves to read so much that one time – the bad parent that I am – I took away his books as a punishment. It was the only thing that worked at the time!
Blue is a totally different type of reader. It’s hard to select books for her as a gift because she enjoys factual information on whatever topic she is intrigued by at the moment. She doesn’t read cover to cover, but more topic to topic, jumping around until she finds the information that strikes a chord with her.
Girlie and Gorilla are learning to enjoy books too. The love going to the library and picking out their books. They each get magazines in the mail (thank you great grandma and grandpa) and books through Dolly Pardon’s Imagination Library. Gorilla, in particular, likes to be read to – and all kinds of different books. He has his favorites, but isn’t all too picky.
Lately, I’ve been making a more concerted effort to spend time reading with my children. I do it here and there, but I’m trying to spend better time each day reading with them. I really want them to be lifelong lovers of books. We have books everywhere (more than we need probably) and we encourage them to look at books on their own, but there is just something special about stories being read aloud. So each night, I try to read 1-2 books with Girlie and Gorilla. Professor and I have been reading a chapter out of The Giver each night. I’d love to have a family reading time. I have great visions of all of us sitting around the fireplace listening to chapters from The Little House on the Prairie, but I just don’t think that will be happening any time soon.
Sigh. A girl can dream can’t she?
Anyway, all that to say that it warms my heart when my kids ask to have books in bed with them. I’m glad they enjoy books as much as I do. That’s one good thing they’ve gotten from me. Hopefully, that love will be one that stays with them for a lifetime.
In one of my classes, we are exploring the Book God is not a Christian by Desmond Tutu. Each Thursday we read a chapter and then discuss our reactions, feelings and thoughts about his writings. We are asked to keep a journal of those reactions, feelings and thoughts – this is my journal. Journey with me as I learn about who Desmond Tutu is and how he responds to God and issues of faith.
I don’t really know anything about Desmond Tutu. I’ve heard the name, but really know nothing about the man. I asked Racer if he knew of him - the response I got turned into an interesting discussion. If I’m going to understand this man, I should probably be doing my own investigation into his life. The book flap just doesn’t do a life justice.
As I’m reading, there are some comments that I appreciate and agree with. This first chapter is called “God is Clearly not a Christian: Pleas for Interfaith Tolerance.” The book and chapter titles are shocking to many; but they don’t raise that type of reaction in me. It’s a book title, meant to be shocking, eye-catching and engaging. That kind of statement is certainly engaging. But I agree. God isn’t a Christian. I asked Professor what he felt about the title of the book and he reacted negatively. “Mom, how can somebody say that? God is too a Christian… isn’t he?” So, we talked about what it means to be a Christian and how a person becomes a Christian. The first step is admitting that you are a sinner. Professor had a light bulb moment – God has never sinned right? So he can’t be a Christian! We also talked about how God was before Jesus ever came to earth and He is the God of the Old Testament and the people of the Jewish faith. God was before Christianity existed.
As I read the first chapter, there were several phrases that resonated with me. The first was this comment Tutu made in a message from 1989; “We must hold to our particular and peculiar beliefs tenaciously, not pretending that all religions are the same, for they are patently not the same. We must be ready to learn from one another, not claiming that we alone possess all truth and that somehow we have a corner on God.” Yes, I agree. As a Christian I have a lot to learn about faith from other ways of believing. There are many other systems of belief that do a much better job of living out their faith than I do. Do I publicly stop and pray 5 times a day? No. Do I boldly go door to door to share my faith with others? No. Do I spend time daily in quiet meditation so that I can sense the life force and peace within? No. I have a lot that I can learn from the practices and beliefs of others. In that learning, however I mustn’t lose sight of the One True God in whom I believe and the Universal Truth that I believe comes through the Son Jesus Christ.
The second phrase that struck me was from a message given by Tutu to fellow Christians in 1992; “It is no dishonor to God for us to claim that all truth, all sense of beauty, all awareness of and desire after goodness has one source, and that source is God, who is not confined to one place, time and people.” At the surface I agree. God is truth, beauty and goodness, so it makes sense that all of these things would ultimately come from God. I don’t disagree. I even agree with the first part – that when we claim God as the source of all truth, beauty and goodness, we bring Him honor. What I struggle with is who gets to define what is truth, beauty and good? I have an online friend who is agnostic or atheist (I forget at the moment). We recently had a discussion about the phrase “act Christian” and how people of any belief system can do good, be charitable, show love and treat others with respect. She was even once told – after doing good in her community – that she was such a “good Christian.” Do I think that her desire to do what is right and good emanates from a deep connection to God that she may not be ready/willing/wanting to see? Yes and we agree to disagree on this point. But I also know that in many ways, she and I see beauty and goodness in a similar light. But what about others who see beauty in mutilation or true love in sexual relationships with children or goodness in racial cleansing? These types of beliefs are contrary to the general held beliefs of society, but again, if someone just declares something as beauty, truth or good, does that mean it is? And does that mean it comes from God? I have a really hard time believing that it does. I guess it’s the word ALL that I struggle with. I want to qualify that word as ALL that fits with the general definitions of society, but then again, that would be exclusionary and not very tolerant wouldn’t it?
The last phrase that really struck me comes from the same message in 1992, “We who are Christians must proclaim the truths of our faith honestly, truthfully, and without compromise, and we must assert courteously but unequivocally that we believe that all religious truth and all religious aspirations find their final fulfillment in Jesus Christ. But we must grant to others the same right to commend their faith, hoping that the intrinsic attractiveness and ultimate truthfulness of Christianity will be what commends it to others.” Yes. Too often in today’s culture, we as Christians make accommodations for our faith so that it “fits” in society. We try too hard to make what we have to offer attractive to the widest group of people. While I agree that we must allow religious freedom for all, we need to stop doing it at the expense of our own faith. We need to stand up for our right as Christians to also exclaim the Good News. And we have to walk the talk. We need to do a better job of living out the love, grace and mercy part of who we, as a people, are so that the Light within us is illuminating and others respond to the Spirit and not our humanness. As a whole, those identifying themselves as Christians have lots of room for growth when it comes to actually living in a manner as Christ did.
As I continue to read, I hope to gain a broader understanding of what Desmond Tutu has to say about religious tolerance and social justice. I want to have a broader perspective, yet I don’t want to simply bend to what someone else says. I want to better understand what it is that I belive. What it is that scripture says about these issues and how a man well-known (except by me) is influencing the beliefs of many.
Each Thursday, I’ll be journaling here. Feel free to get the book, read with me and share your thoughts. And yes, I realize today is Friday. Life happened and I didn’t get to write yesterday. I’m learning to be okay with that.
Well, the older kids started school last week and I started school this week. That means that our family schedule just EXPLODED, well, at least that what it feels like. We are all trying to get adjusted to a new routine. For me, that means doing a better job at planning food, using my time wisely and being pretty organized.
It also means less snacking and less time at the gym. Less snacking = good news. Less gym time = bad news. I know I’ll be able to go workout on Monday and Friday mornings. Saturday mornings would work too, but I’d like to fit an evening time into the week. I’m not sure exactly how I’m going to do that yet. I’m waiting to see how things go after we’ve all been in session for a while.
Busy mornings also mean that I’ll be inclined to skip breakfast. That is not good. I need to be proactive and have mass baking days where I can make muffins galore to have on hand (they freeze really well). I also need to make sure that I pack a small snack in my school bag. The mid-morning growling can get loud and I don’t want to disturb my fellow students! I also know that if I allow myself to get overly hungry a couple of things happen – 1) I get incredibly grouchy and irritable. 2) I overeat at my next meal because I’m STARVING! Neither of those options is good.
I also need to make sure I schedule in the grocery store. Over the summer, I got into a lazy habit of just going to the store (with a list still) when the pantry and fridge got too low. Sometimes that was weekly, sometimes not for a couple of weeks. I don’t have the time to do that now. I need to pick a grocery day and go, regardless of the food level in the house. Otherwise, we’ll end up like we are now – needing milk for 2 days and not having the time/opportunity to go grocery shopping!
I also get the chance to get back to crock-pot cooking. It saves me tons of time and money too. Then “nap time” can be homework time and dinner prep time can be spent with the kids. Hopefully that will help us all transition into mommy going back to school…
Here is my goal progress:
Here are the numbers:
So I’d like to know, how do you balance busy family schedules with exercise? What works for you to fit it all in one day?
Today, I felt very much like a domestic diva! I was the queen of the castle, caring for my children while utilizing the resources I had in an efficient and effective way.
In an effort to be frugal and “use it up and wear it out,” I dyed some clothes for the first time. Professor has to wear uniforms to school and after a year of wearing the same navy shirts and shorts (mixed with red and white and khaki), the navy was faded. They all still fit (I’m expecting a growth spurt any time now), so I needed to simply freshen them up and they would be ready to go!
I wanted to use the washer dye method, but since we have a new HE washer, I wasn’t sure how I do it. Plus, the dye will stain plastic and with a plastic agitator piece in the bottom of the drum… Well, let’s just say Racer’s response was this “I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a bid new fancy washer for you to stain it with some project.” So instead, I used the sink.
After 2 hours, 2 bottles of Rit dye, one wooden spoon and 3 trips to the washing machine, I successfully freshened the navy on 3 shirts, 7 pair of shorts, 2 pair of pants and 1 skirt (for the neighbor girl). I also tried to dye 2 white shirts, a pair of khaki pants and 4 white dish towels that were stained. Since I did those last, they didn’t quite make it to navy, but more of a purplish, indigo color. I think another round in some navy dye will do the trick though.
Now everything is washed, dried and looking great for another new school year. The Frugal Girl would be proud of my efforts today. Next time though, I think I need to remember the rubber gloves…
Recent Comments